COMIC: Valentine’s Day (Ugh)

Go easy on us singles today, ok? Loneliness is a dangerous thing nowadays. Please remember that today may be an especially hard day for those who struggle with loneliness, if you're someone who doesn't have this struggle, I would encourage you to reach out to someone who does and tell them that you care,

Loneliness is an epidemic nowadays. The dating scene is, for many people, a nightmare. That includes within the church. We live in a broken world, and of course, romantic relationships are not immune from this. Brokenness within relationships has massive consequences.

I used to hold the view that anyone who is looking for a romantic partner should not get one, because you're supposed to wait for God's timing. Waiting for God's timing is good, but we should not champion the view of "anyone desiring a partner should not get one". As ridiculous as that sounds, this view does have support. Look, the bottom line is: marriage is designed by God. Romantic feelings, when exercised under God's desire, are a beautiful thing. Let us not shame anyone for wanting to have that connection. And God forbid us from chanting anti-romance slogans because we ourselves are insecure and want others to be single like we are. 1 Corinthians 7 does not tell us romance is evil, rather, it talks about a good and greater good. Romance only becomes evil if it takes precedence over God.

Do you think I'm gonna leave the other extreme alone? Surely not. On the other hand, are Christians who have too light of a view when it comes to romance. Romance is very important, and those who deeply desire it should have it. However, one should not fail to consider the heavy implications and responsibilities of a romantic relationship. I grew up watching movies where romance is just perfect. I believe this is called the "Cinderella complex": where one thinks finding "the one" means that the relationship will never go through any bumpy patches. Sad to say, but for a very rare minority, this is delusional.

Loving another human being is tremendously difficult. At first, everything will seem so perfect. But one day, and I don't know how long, but it won't be too long, you will discover aspects of the other person that are...less than perfect. Many who have a warped view of romance will give up at this point, looking for another who will check all the boxes (warning: no one will be perfect for you if you have the expectation of perfection). You will also need to care for the other person's needs, are you prepared to do that? You never know how much baggage someone might be carrying until they feel safe enough to dump it all on you. Are you prepared to see it through? Again, many relationships end here because they have false expectations, thinking that their partner was perfect, without any problems. Anyone going into a relationship should expect nothing less than constant self-sacrifice. Two people who are willing to have that mindset for one another are two people who will enjoy the best relationship. And that, sad to say, comes with a lot of pain, patience, and communication.

Another thing is this: are you mature enough for a relationship? Are you just looking for someone to cure all your problems? Are you only trying to find someone to fulfill your needs? One hand cannot clap by itself. A significant other is not an object, it's a human being made in the image of God. To have a relationship, you MUST be willing, and eager to be of service to the other person. A part of that is making sure that you are at a place where you can have a responsible relationship.

If you decide to start a relationship, please have some perseverance, please don't back away at the slight bit of difficulty. Try your best to overcome it together with your partner, if you can't do it, then you know marriage will be unwise. If that sounds like too much commitment to you, then are you really looking for a relationship as God would want it (a husband who loves his wife to the point of death, and a wife who sacrifices herself to accomplish God's will with her husband)? Or are you just looking for someone to make you feel happy? How dehumanizing is that? Be warned, there are very real consequences of a failed relationship: depression, anxiety, unable to have a proper relationship ever again, I can go on. Understand the consequences, take responsibility, and seek counsel from older, wiser people.

A relationship is a beautiful and rewarding thing, and there is no such thing as a reward without sacrifice, take a look at the ultimate relationship between Christ and His Church, that relationship was paid for by nothing less than His precious blood. The only way for a relationship nevertheless a marriage, to last, is a loving commitment to one another and to the Lord. Plain and simple, but also tremendously difficult.

Happy Valentine's Day! I wish you a joyful day with your loved one. I praise God for your beautiful relationship, and sincerely pray that the Lord will be glorified through it!